My response to some fan mail I received… this deserves more than just a quick answer.
Though I’ve made sure to keep out any names, etc. for privacy’s sake. But I felt like I needed more than just the small space of replying to fan mail to answer this, and also there are others out there who are likely going through the exact same thing. So here goes…
First of all, I am so saddened to hear that you’re struggling and afraid right now. If I could I would give you a huge hug.
To answer your question… Repentance is defined not just by acknowledgment of sin, but by turning away from it as well. It’s tough, I know. But you have to think of it in this way: if you did something that made your parents upset (ex. stayed out past curfew, didn’t do your chores, etc.) then you would apologize and after that you wouldn’t do that thing again, right? It’s the same thing with God. You have to try and not commit the sin you’re apologizing for in order to be truly repentant. And I know that sexuality is one of the hardest things to do that with. Most of the time we feel like we can’t help who we’re attracted to, and if it’s something that really concerns you then all I can tell you to do is keep praying to God all the time for help.
Lust/ sexuality is probably the strongest sin that any of us have to face… most of us deal with it in one form or another basically every minute of our lives, whether it’s fighting our own desires or being assaulted with the oversexualized media, or dealing with the desires of those around us. It’s not an easy thing to surmount, and it’s definitely not something you should try to do on your own.
And you’re absolutely correct. EVERYONE on earth is a sinner. Every. Single. Person. The only human who was completely free of sin was Jesus, so there is no one who is any better or any worse than you in that department. Even the most devoted Christian is a sinner.
But the most important thing to take away from all of this is that GOD WILL NOT ABANDON YOU. He loves you so much! I know it’s hard and that things seem scary for you right now, but God will always be right there by your side. You just have to try and trust that He knows what He’s doing, and that He’s going to guide you along the path that was meant for you… and remember that God never challenges us with more than what we can handle.
“God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Also, bear in mind that God judges each soul individually. None of us are perfect, and if you love Him as fully as you say that you do, then He’s going to take that into account as well. Think of all the other sinners who were great men of God!
- Noah was a drunkard
- David was both an adulterer and a murderer
- Elijah was suicidal
- Jonah ran away from God
- Peter denied Christ.
The list goes on. These men committed some pretty heavy sins, and were still beloved by God and rewarded for their devotion. You can be redeemed from ANYTHING.
“They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” (Acts 16:31).
Just have faith, and everything will work itself out in the end, I promise.
And in terms of your problems with reading the New Testament… you’re right, there is a lot of stuff in there that was also in the Old Testament. But that doesn’t make the messages in the New Testament any less relevant. As a matter of fact, they’re even MORE important, because as it says in Romans 7, we are under the law of the New Testament, and no longer under the Old Law. So everything in the New Testament is VERY applicable to us.
If you’re having difficulties getting through it, prayer is always useful… but I would also recommending seeking out a Bible study in your area. Having other people to discuss scripture with can be REALLY helpful, and can show you things about the Word of God that you might not have realized before.
I would also recommending trying out this website: youversion.com. It’s available as an iphone app as well. It provides basically any translation of the Bible you could want, and you have the ability to take notes on the passages… and see the notes that other people write too. So if you’re confused about a certain scripture, you could check out the notes and see what other people have to say about it.
I hope that this was helpful to you… I had a lot to say and unfortunately it can be easier to make my point face-to-face instead of on the internet.
Just remember that God will never abandon you, and that as long as you keep praying and keep the love of Jesus in your heart, you will be absolutely fine =). He does not damn people lightly, and He knows your heart. Just do your best to keep repenting and following the word of God =).
God bless, and I really hope this was helpful!
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